As part of the paediatric specialist training, we have to sit for an oral examination. It is an all-day exam with a break for lunch between the morning and the afternoon sessions. During the exam, we are required to assess real patients on the spot without prior knowledge of the patients’ condition. To prevent us from having met the patients before the exam day, we are allocated to sit the exam interstate. The whole process is quite stressful, to the body and to the mind.
The first time I sat for my oral exam, I had to fly to Canberra. I was ill prepared for it, and not surprisingly, I did not pass. I was not particularly upset by it, as many people did not pass their first attempt. Nonetheless, it was a painful experience, as at that stage, I had never failed an academic exam in my life. In addition, the exam only runs once a year, so I had to wait for a whole year to re-sit.
After a brief time of “mourning”, I picked myself up and started to prepare for the exam. This time, I felt much more prepared.
However, as the day of “grilling” approached, I became very anxious. I started to have flashes of my previous exam, all the things that I must have done wrong that day, and all the possible reasons why I did not pass. I started to lose confidence, and had negative thoughts and doubts about my ability.
I recognised that these were symptoms of anxiety and unless I mastered them, they would affect my performance on the day of my exam.
I had to consciously challenged those negative thoughts and put things into perspective. One important reality was that my past failure was only a very small part of me, I should not allow it to define me as a person, my life or my worth.
Even though I don’t think I mastered it, I managed to get my anxiety under control, and passed the exam on my second attempt, in Perth.
Resilience is to rise above our failures; the ability to move on from our failures.
The lesson I learnt: we have an intrinsic value, which is not defined by external successes nor failures; instead of dwelling and lamenting on our failures, reflect and learn from them.
…One of the keys to success is being able to handle failure well. – Ernest Crocker, in his book Nine Minutes Past Midnight
It is our response to defeat that reveals a person’s moral fibre, together with their ability to learn and move on with honour. – John Howard
Failures inspire winner, failures defeat losers. – Robert Kiyosaki, in his book Rich dad poor dad
Real Life Resilience 